I’m sorry to report that I have no fan-related witticisms, so let’s dive right in. Here’s what the fan looked like before:
Gold scrollwork on the blades. Floral, fluted shades. Let’s look at those with the camera flash on and the corners rounded:
Downright seedy. Who knew blue roses could look so prurient?
I started by removing the light bulbs and shades, and then the fan blades.
Next up was removing the light kit, which was super easy – just two wires to unscrew – and I then took off the motor cover.
Which left me with this:
At this stage, I no longer felt fully confident that anything I took down could be easily put back up. Some of the things in this apartment feel tenuously held together; this fan is one of those things, and I didn’t want to push my luck. (Not to say it’s an unsafe fan, but rather I wouldn’t be surprised if I removed a screw and the roof slid off the building.) So, I decided to paint the remaining fixture in place. I had seen several other posts in which people spray painted fans in place and I thought it seemed like a bad idea… and, guess what, it is! I prepped the kitchen carefully, covering the surfaces below with old sheets, and then used painters tape and trashbags to create a canopy, which I moved around as needed to help contain the drift of paint.
Looks kind of like a dementor, right? It worked, but I wouldn’t recommend this approach. Spray painting indoors = bad idea.
Expecto Patronum! Or, Harry Potter + IKEA = PATRONÜM
The back of the fan blades were filthy: so coated in grease and dirt that they appeared to be a different color than the front.
After scouring them in our bathtub, I let them dry over night and quickly sanded them with fine grade sandpaper. I taped up the electrical bits I didn’t want painted, stuck the screws in a box lid to secure them, and then went at the whole lot with white spray paint.
By the way, I didn’t use primer because I didn’t have any on hand and I didn’t want to venture out to the ‘burbs to buy some. You see, the sale of spray paint has been banned within the city of Chicago since 1995. It went all the way to the Supreme Court. It’s been a curse on Chicago DIYers ever since, and on this particular DIYer since 2003. I’m surprised it hasn’t led to drive-through spray paint joints along the Chicago city limit borders, like fireworks stands along state lines. Maybe this is an untapped franchise opportunity. DIBS!
Moving along: things went quickly once all of the tedious-but-necessary prep work was finished.
Several coats of spray paint later, I put everything back together again along with some cheap new shades (purchased at The Home Depot for $4 each). Brace yourself for some rather anticlimatic After pictures:
It’s a white fan! Hurrah! Really, though, I don’t want a decorative, bedazzled fan. I want a fan that blends in. Done and done. Now I’m eying the guest room fan. I’m also eying The Home Depot’s selection of ready-to-go no-defense-against-the-dark-arts-training-required fans. Did you know you can buy a ceiling fan for $24?! I sure didn’t.
Project Palermo 
You are amazing!!!!!!!! The other side to the fan was SO GROSS! ewwwwww – but it sure looks great now!
Jen, you don’t even know. I tried to clean it first with a paper towel, but the paper towel STUCK to the fan blade.
Yes I did know you could be a ceiling fan for cheap at the Home Depot. You can also buy replacement bits if you want to change up aspects of your fan without going all out and buying a new one. As you know you can get replacement light kits for certain brands, replacement shades, but I’ve also seen replacement blades and I don’t remember if it was Lowes or Home Depot but I’ve seen the replacement blade holder thingy’s lol You know the part that actually holds the blade and fan together. I’m such an expert, using my big words today lol. The fan came out great. A little too white for me, but I don’t have to look at it, so who cares right? Have a great day!
Worth it. I really think the landlords will be able to charge a higher rent after you guys move out.
I am going to DO THIS this weekend! Thanks for the inspiration!
Yeah! This is a victory. Great job. I liked the dementor a lot too though.
Great work, Marti! And it was fun to read. But will Cora miss the old one, she really enjoys our ceiling fan…or did last time she was here.
Mary
we must be related…
Why’s that, Jeff? Do you also feel a compulsion to paint things white?
Not a fan of the fan, eh? Well, fancy that!
Glad you didn’t fall on your fanny doing that spray-painting job!
This fantastic makeover deserves an ice-cold Fanta!
These fan-related witticisms brought to you by the number seven, the letter Q, and a bottle of Liberty Ale.
I can only fantasize about writing such clever witticisms. You’re hired!
Yeah, but you recycled yours and it cost you less! :-)
Very true. It’s better I get a little white spray paint up my nostrils than to have a functioning ceiling fan wind up in a dumpster.
I love your blog, Marti! Can you come over to my house next? Also, you were wise to leave the fan mostly intact- they are a horrible pain in the butt to re-assemble!
Thanks, Liz! I am really glad to hear that I made the right choice on disassembling the fan base.
The other glass would have looked good with the white fan. Just get decorative fan bulbs not the ones you had. It looks nice. The $24 fans have a loud motor.
Woah, now your fan is a twin to my ceiling fan in LITERALLY every way! Like all the details. All we did switch out the light covers, home depot, yes? :)